"Well, Mike," said the doctor. "I can't quite diagnose your case. I think it must be the drink." "Sure, that's all right, doctor," said Mike. "I know how you feel. I'll come back when you're sober."
Two Irishmen met and one said to the other, "Have ye seen Mulligan lately,Pat?" Pat said, "Well, I have and I haven't." His friend asked, "Shure, and what d'ye mean by that?" Pat said, "It's like this, y'see...I saw a chap who I thought was Mulligan, and he saw a chap that he thought was me. And when we got up to one another...it was neither of us."
2 Irishmen were out shooting ducks. 1 took aim, hit a bird which tumbled out of the sky to land at his feet."Ah, you should have saved the bullet," said the other.The fall would have killed him, anyway."